Losing a loved one is often a devastating battle that never truly ceases. Those that do go through highs and lows that become less drastic over time, but to an extent are always present. Loss changes people, and sometimes it is hard to get a gauge on what people that have experienced loss are thinking or feeling. Here are a few rules of thumb for being there for those who have lost a loved one.
If they are constantly in contact with you, take that as a sign that they need you to comfort them on occasion. Loss makes people want to be alone more than usual, so if they are still reaching out to you they see you as a comfort zone. Be aware of what types of conversations they are starting. If they want to have interesting small talk, do not try to make the conversation and therapy session, but if they are talking about their feelings, let them vent and let them know you care about their well being. Do not try to give advice, especially if you have never been in their situation. In a time of loss, no one wants to be told how they should and should not feel.
If they are not constantly keeping up with you, send an occasional text or phone call their way asking how they are doing. Most people who are experiencing a recent loss are usually always feeling upset to some extent, but do not want to depress those around them, so they tend not to bring their true feelings up. They will appreciate that you are worried about their well being and will feel less insecure venting.
The website of Crowe and Mulvey says that few things in life can be as difficult as dealing with the unexpected loss of a loved one. Respect the space of those that are going through a serious time, but also be aware of when they are sending out a cry for help.Read More